Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Daily Thoughts...
Today as I started out my day I felt really good, I got ready early today so I could enjoy the morning a little before I went to work. Last night I wrote a letter to my daughter telling her how special she is to me and I went over to my x house and put it on the car so when she went to school this morning she would have some flowers and a letter. She is ten and I feel like my relationship with her could be stronger, and I feel like it is becoming stronger because I tell her she can talk to me about anything, and I always set aside time for just me and her, also I am a father first I don't mess around with not getting homework, chores, and whatever else done first, play second. Today mentally, and emotionally is ten times better isn't it amazing how complex the human brain is? It's hard to put yourself in check when you go through something and mentally you go through so many emotions. I think once you recognize those emotions they become easier to deal with. I have been horrible at this the past year, beating myself up constantly over nothing, which everyday is a great learning experience. I had a meeting yesterday, and in the meeting they talk about how humans are always looking at what there neighbor has and they always want more. But we fail to stop and think that what we have is good enough, so what if we drive a ten year old car, so what if your pants, shirts whatever is ten years old, if we are smart we would stop worrying about what we don't have and thank God for the things we do have. If you think about it there are 6,981,733,614 people on the planet and growing, there are 308,604,142 in the U.S. so chances are we are doing pretty good, most people in third world countries would look at us and the cars we drive, and the clothes we wear and think we are the wealthiest people on the planet, so it helps put a lot of things in perspective for me.
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Jesse,
ReplyDeleteAwesome post.. Thanks again- I think it is SO wonderful what your doing with your daughter as well as keeping the peace with your ex wife, I am proud of you for all of the great changes you are trying to make. In time maybe things will start to work out for you.
My life gets put into perspective every Sunday when I am at church and with my little CTR class, I look at how amazing these kids are and how innocent they are= they have no idea that next to them is a child who is struggling or another one who has a basketball court- it goes to show if we teach love and respect to our children they too one day will show the same love and respect. We are all here to learn together. I did not have a lot growing up as far as my neighbor friends always getting to go to Disneyland, camping or HUGE amounts of presents for Christmas- what I had what we had as a Family was my brother- My disabled brother brought SO much love into our home and to have it gone now breaks me into SO many peaces. I will never forget at my brother Trent's viewing when his little friend Joey who is down syndrome came up to me by Trent's casket basically pushed me away and put his hand on Trent's body and cried, he said Trent you were my best friend.. I love you and I am going to miss you. He then looked at me and my Dad and said can I show you something... He pulled out his wallet and had a color copy of Trent's picture and a second copy of Trent's obituary from the Newspaper. He said I will never forget, He is my best friend.
Wow- Trent touched SO many people's lives. Jesse everyday WE can each make a difference, WE have to be good examples and move forward, you can no longer beat yourself up for the past but MOVE forward and learn from it. Great job on blogging, I am proud of you (as cheesy as it sounds.) I am sure your ex-wife will appreciate the good changes you are trying to make. Hang in there.